Lassiter

 

This is a Tom Selleck project to cash in on his fame, as Magnum. ITV used to show it reasonably often in their NightTime slot in the late 1990s. So I have seen it before I have not seen it for years

The cast is not bad, not bad at all. Selleck, and Jane Seymour as well as Bob Hoskins, Warren Clarke in support. 

The story is simple Selleck plays Lassiter an American jewel thief living in London in 1939. Lassiter  is strong armed by Special branch and the FBI into stealing diamonds from the German Embassy. The diamonds are going to be used to pay for Nazi subversion in South America. 

Selleck has performed in a few historical dramas- Quigley, and Quigley Down Under- The High Road to China- and notoriously 1492 the Conquest of Paradise. Whence he plays Ferdiand of Aragon and won a razzie.  Harshly in my opinion. He has a few moments of screen time. Yes, Selleck looks nothing like the historical Ferdinand. Selleck is actually darker and swarthier -Selleck is there to let Isabella lead. 

It must be said that Magnum P.I is often a historical drama- the vietnam flashbacks throughout the series, Speaking of flashbacks, the Magnum P.I episode ``Flashback'' is the foundation upon which Quantum Leap will be build. There is also the  noir episode Murder by Night. The 

 This is also a taste of the alternate Indiana Jones we briefly see in Legend of the Lost Art. Selleck would have been Indy but for Magnum P.I

Well

Firstly there is a lot of sex and nudity. I remembered there was some. I was surprised how much there was in fact - Jayne Seymour is briefly bottomless. I would have assumed she was high enough  up the totem pole by this point, not to do such . It is not just shower scenes. The Nazi protagonists both have darker sexual desires. There is a scene of Warren Clarke adjusting his rear view mirror to watch Selleck and the Nazi frau in the back seat. 

 Now Magnum was shown at late prime time in the US at about 8pm. There are some dark episodes. Dealing with child murder, abudction and pornography- That said there were Magnum P.I toys. 

I mean why would you make an R rated film, if your star is going to make Three Men and Baby

Just an observation- we see a black bareknuckle boxer and a black jazz band, in 1930s London. 

This was not remarked upon at the time of production- nor does it seem out place. 

We see Hoskins try to strong arm Selleck. Despite him being a foot shorter than him 

The film is also violent. The death of Warren Clarke, after a struggle with Selleck, is done quite accurately. The pistols shots don't stop him. He staggers to his death, he bleeds and moans, before he expires. 

Again this is your prime time star?  Magnum actually was quite good of showing the lasting horror of violence - Rick seeing a woman casually murdered, Higgins standing in a room full of dead narco's

Speaking of the Hawaiian P,.I

The last half hour of the film- feels more like Magnum.  We see Selleck bully and lead his FBI friend into helping him, and a lot of misdirection. BTW Magnum and Sisko are very sinilar characters widowers who are incredibily manipulative 

While in Lassiter Selleck is always cool calm, and collected  in Magnum Tom plays against himself. Magnum is whiny and childish. His hair is a mess. He is dressed like a teenager.

 There is no Higgins for Magnum to play off- The script for Lassiter could have worked with an edit. 

Hoskins police officer is very judgemental towards Lassiter- as opposed to the FBI. More could have been done with this. I think it was an interesting choice- I think the better choice would have been for Hoskins to have been more of a comic foil than he plays here

Oh like Magnum- Selleck has to swim into a boat house. I felt sorry for Selleck, swiming in the pacific must be very different from a tank in a studio if he was lucky or if he was unlucky in docklands at bight 

You can see Battersea power station in the background of several shots.- still smoking. I think a piece was filmed close by St Mary's Hospital. 

Scotland Yard are quite nonchalant about automatic weapons being fired into the night several times

Jayne Seymour is lovely. I think she is supposed to have a cockney accent but doesn't quite carry it off

Which is I think the problem with Lassiter. It looks good- it just doesn't quite work 

Last Year

 

50 Years ago

 

My mother and father married. 

50 years ago Kildysart, County Clare,  Ireland 

Today in History

 

Happy Anniversary

 

A happy Anniversary to my friends Chris and Rebecca

Married 25 years ago in Suffolk

Barbie kens!

Lima  Peru UNI. 2036

The announcers just went to the straight to the video on the live stream

50 000 Glaswegians were screaming ``All we are saying is give peace a chance''. The players shook hands as the managers came on to the field. The police and stewards made no arrests.

The BBC reporter could hardly keep the emotion down in her voice

Was she really seeing calls for reason and calm at an Auld Firm game?
This is it then....

Now or Never then

The parishes of Fermanagh and Tyrone faded away for the damp heat of Lima 
She felt something over her shoulder

``Americano?’’
``No’’
``You speak Ingles I see on the phone ’’
`Yes’’
``You are Americano ‘’
``No other place’’
``Guyana?’’
She really looked at the little girl for the first time.

Some niece of Rosita. Rosita who had run the coffee stall since before the flood The little girl stoking the hen, looked back at her.

``Guyana ?'

'The urchin persisted
``No. They do- they did speak English in Guyana. No. It is complicated. How did you know about Guyana?''
``My friend her sister was born there... They came to Recife, we used to play... She is lost now. Recife is lost now. ..People forget Guyana now. I don’t forget my friend. Sometimes I think of a world where my friend and Recife and still here. Everyone goes to school, and the …''

Her words hung in the air . The world was not a kind place for little girls anymore

``Directora Higgins?''
``Colonel Higgins?''

She looked up from the cheap stool. Cpt Vargas and Dr Kohl had come outside of campus to the little stall she went to breakfast

Captain Vargas saluted and once again asserted the primacy of the military over the civilian in Latin America. ``The PNP horse unit is here. Cadets from academy. Also our mountain rescue team''
``Good. Have them briefed. Get the horses and donkeys ready ''
Dr Kohl looked at the stall will the mix of odd fascination and disgust, which an Oxypampa German interacts with the rest of Peru with – Dad had opined on it once. Imagine growing up in semi tropical paradise of clean food and fresh water. You go to Gymnasium. You take hikes, and then one day you have to get into a combi and sit next to a prostitute for three hours. Who is being FaceTimed by a Congressman

Not that there were combi’s anymore. Petrol was so expensive that they had loaded the Quantum computer onto an ox cart. Well not an ox cart. They had not castrated the damn things

The electric engine like Brazil had promised a lot –looked great, then burned
We will be ready in 20 minutes for the first test. The Curtains are fixed. As you asked.
``Rosita I will be back in 10 minutes’’.
“Si Si Donna Barbie”
``Gracias”
The NUI was the home of the nuclear program of the republic of Peru. Like a pampered 30 year old from a big house in swanky Miraflores it refused to grow up and leave home. Indeed it had spawned a few bastards from its teen bedroom. She was in charge of one of the bastard projects
Speaking of bastards there was still graffiti just visible from the days when the greatest minds of the republic had flocked to the NUI and embraced Guzmanism.
That is how she had got the job. With the ructions in the global village and memories of the student protests of 2025. Peru had handed over it’s it civilian nuclear program to the military
No one not even after Vilnius wanted to see Nuclear and Sendero in the same sentence
She remembered Dad
``Barbie you can tell the discourse is full of shit. By merely showing up at fucking work. Look at the photos of the alumni from the 1990s. All look frankly murderous, and most of them were. What do you think the Class of 93 were doing during the day? Hard sums and wiring!’’
(Dad a philosophy graduate had a limited knowledge of engineering dwarfed only by his grasp of economics)
``Then they went home to a rooftop in Callao and cracked one off over the little red book.’’
It has annoyed her. Not that Dad was wrong. He had used the pet name for her. Barbie. In the Cafeteria, in the Classes. In Group chats she saw Barbie She heard Barbie. She had accepted it
` `Look Love I don’t know why you’re pissed off about everyone calling you Barbie. If you get a nickname it’s because people like you. People know who you are -officially you don’t notice. Unofficially you are Barbie’’
She had seen the reason behind the point. Then she told Sgt Franco to take their drink from her father’s hand and lead him into the ante room outside her office.
The people who had called their leading citizen of Nipponese descent a Chinaman and put their fingers to their eyes while conversing about him were not going to be subtle in their naming
Speaking of Uncle Albert. There was a picture of his Grandniece on the wall. The First Lady of the Republic. The Waifu from Peru. 200 million followers on the network which the kids were following these days. Antibiotics had died with King Charles, but solar powered phones still worked. The Waifu was married to an ex footballer. A man who had been as invaluable to Peru’s national team as a goal post, almost as tall, and half as smart.
Barbie and the Waifu had worked on off for over a decade .Supporting strong women both faking smiles. Wearing new clothes and nodding-making small talk over bland food and weak coffee
The Waifu would express concern about the latest incident in the Philippine Sea or Panama Canal There would be a moment of silence for Vilnius, or Montpellier. Only a thousand dead at Montpellier... That seemed almost a pleasant memory
These days everyone standing in somber silence, to host another Inter American peace plan. While silently thanking God for the Pacific and the Andes. Listening to Brazilians and Bolivarists scream at each other. Expensive petrol and nuclear power was wasted.
The UNI got a quantum computer out that peace conference though
Breaking bread didn't work anymore in South America. So it was strictly regional cuisine left

I was the cuy. Before they served the big fish she thought to herself
One day Dad was at work in el Norte . Hungover on a Monday morning and spying two experimental neural implants for ASD being prepped by a clinical engineer for a wealthy Indian patient The clinical engineer closed the case and went out to shout at her bank
Dad put the case in a cardboard box, walked out the door. Uber to the airport and Got on a flight to Peru.
The next day someone killed King Charles- and the Met had bigger fish
Mom, made the deal with the Fujimori’s. They find the clinic. They get an implant and Kenji’s bastard will be president. In return her daughter is used for a dry run.
She had gone into the clinic
She woke up with a headache
But everything was quiet. Quiet finally quiet. No more screaming lightbulbs, the stink of shit and sweat of bad breath and cheap perfume gone. The torture of humming, and rattling and fizzing from the machinery gone.
She could concentrate
The doctors thought it was all in vain. Mom was screaming at dad Throwing things at her father
I looked at mom, I said ``Calm the fuck down then. Stop it. You embarrass me'' Then I was ushered out of the hospital.
Her first lesson in mainstream education. Don't talk like dad!

Better you had remained quiet Barbie
That was the terrible joke behind the nickname Barbie doesn’t talk. Barbie is beautiful and fair and tall. As she was. Barbie is silent.
Things got better for Mom after that. Dad had to disappear into Lima. He was getting sicker and sicker. Drank a bit to deal with the pain, the boredom and mom. Once they had almost shot him, he was hanging about outside Grupo 8 waiting for her. This was in the middle of the Bolivian war. One the Bolivarist pilots decided to take a suicide run at Jet Blue full of Americans on their way to Cusco
I mean who wears a Red Dawn T Shirt what kind of …
Dr Kohl had started up the device. Across Lima the few remaining fridges and incubators died.
``COUNDOWN IN 5 minutes’’
Cpt Vargas, shouldered his rifle and hit the Earthquake Alarm. People picked up backpacks, and moved towards the device.
Earthquake drills were the last bit of communal normalcy in the city of the kings
The PNP cadets began moving towards the device
Her phone buzzed. The Malvinas were gone. London, Seoul…
``VARGAS GET EVERYONE ACROSS.;;
She dashed out to the street.

``Where is Rositia? ‘’
`Bano’’
No time. She grabbed the urchin and her chicken and started running.
Vargas had got the cadets across. He was pulling the last cart across. She dumped the chicken and the girl on the cart pulled it across the horizon
186 AD flashed on the screen. Her phone buzzed. The lights hummed.

It was quiet again
Quiet again
No buzzing, just shrub until the hills began. They could see the sea.
Fuck me horse’s smell she thought.
Vargas shouted to the cadets. Get the horses blinkered. Form a perimeter. The donkeys were being unburdened.
Dr Kohl started taking names.
Colonel Banba (Barbie) Higgins Tallariz looked north
She shouted the old prayer
``NOT NOW, NOT TOMORROW, NOT EVER ''
This time it is going to be different. We will be waiting for the world.

They were going North to meet the Moche.

Shannen Doherty

 

Seen here in an episode of Magnum P.I- She renames the Zeus and Apollo  "Buster" and "Bobby-K"

Little House on the Prarie , Magnum.PI, and Charmed and Beverly Hills 90210

Republican, Southerner, and Cancer victim