The Wedding of River Song, Doctor Who

The Wedding of River Song

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Spoilers:

Wild Guess. The Doctor, is killed, and his body burned, by he is revived by Silurian medicine. The Silurians, will be in the episode, they take him below the Earth, and using the reading they took, of the Doctor, in the Hungry Earth, they revive our favorite time lord.

Bonus points, if the Doctors companions have to cast him into the rift at the center of the Earth we saw, in Torchwood

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The program opens with a panoramic view of London. We see the Gherkin. Its the title sequence, from the British version of the apprentice. However the BBC announcer, apologizes for sun spots, and stellar activity. There are Balloons across the sky, carrying cars. A picnic in the park, is ruined by petrosaurs. The patrons of the park, had been warned not to feed, them. On the BBC, Charles Dickens, is being questioned about this years Christmas special. He gives a few hints.

Charles Dickens, played by Simon Callow, from the Unquiet dead

A newspaper board, announces that the War of the Roses is in the Second year. While a Roman charioteer, waits for the lights to change

At Buckingham palace. Decorated with the banners of SPQR Sir Winston Churchill, the Holy Roman Emperor is back from Gaul. Where he has met Cleopatra. Who is a terrific dancer. His Silurian medic, chides him about his blood pressure.

The Holy Roman emperor, and sometime Prime Minister, and Colonel of the Scots Guards. Asks his Silurian the time. The Medical lizard responds it is 2 minutes, past 5pm, on April 23rd 2011.
It is the same time, it always was, realises Sir Winston.

Despite, the fact that he had him, thrown into the Tower, of London. Sir Winston summons the Soothsayer....

The Sooth sayer is the Doctor..

``Tik Tok'' goes the clock, recites Churchill. But it doesn't. The Clocks do not move, Time is wrong. Everything is happening at once.

What happened to time, asks the first lord of the Admiralty....

``A woman'', replies the Lord of Time

Que Credits

On some God forsaken grey and broken planet. We can hear the Doctor’s voice. Your dying, your afraid and in great pain. You look up, and you see the face, of the Devil, himself... We hear the voice of the Doctor across the Alien sky
The camera reveals, a Dalek. The Kaled, mutant is shattered and vanquished

``Hello Darling!''

The Doctor, with a flick of the sonic, disables his fallen foe. Our Galifreyan, wants to know, what the Daleks know about the Silence...

The Titles, now inform, us that we are on Calisto B, at the docks. The Doctor walks up, and demands to speak, to Father Gideon van de leur, the go to guy for the silence. When they challenge, the Doctor, how does he know the Silence are here. The Doctor slams, the eye piece of a Dalek, on the counter, and that settles the argument

The Doctor is reading, from an Alien magazine, on an Alien world

Father Giden, Van de leur, the Doctor inquires, as he is joined, by a one eyed Monk. Father Gideon Van de leur, who was killed, six months ago.... Who are you? demands the Doctor. The Doctors, sonic, reveals its the tesalator, we last saw in Let's Kill Hitler. Oh hello, says the Doctor, after setting the Tesalators systems, a little arwry, with the sonic. ``What have you done, demands the Captain’’
The Doctor realises, that the Justice ministry is investigating the silence, the Doctor is still after information. He asks, who the Silence’s weakest link is....
The Doctor is playing a Viking at chess. At live, Chess. There is a cheering crowd. The Doctor, is about to win. His opponent, has moved his queen, 12 times, there are now 4 million volts, running through the Queen. The Doctor, is about to win. The Viking, who wears an eye patch similar, to one that father Gideon, wore. The Doctor, will concede, the game, and spare the Vikings life, if he trades, him information about the silence. The Viking counters with the fact that the silence, will kill him
The Doctor, want to know why I have to died
Dorium, the Blue man, who killed at Demon’s run. Beheaded by the headless monks. Dorium, has the information, the Doctor wants, and the Viking, promises to take the Doctor, to him. If the game will be conceded
The seventh trancept, were the headless monks keep there leftovers
Think Indiana jones. Flaming torches, a crypt, and the Doctor, is wearing a Stetson. Remember Craig gave the hat from Seans stag at the end of, closing time. The Doctor, even mentions that he hates rats.
The skulls eat the rats. Observes the one eyed space viking
The headless monk behead you alive, and once, they imprison you down here. However there are some, in boxes, as opposed to on the shelves bare.
Some people, are rich and some people, are left to rot, and Dorim was always very rich
The Doctor, opens, the box, with a flick of his sonic.

problem, saves me the trouble of burying you. The Viking pulls a gun.
``No body beats me at chess’’
The ground gives way beneath his feet, and he is consumed, alive, by a pit of ravenous skulls. The Doctor tries to help, however the skulls, will have there prize
The Viking is eaten alive by the undead, and the doctor avoids
Oh doctor, thanks it you. The monks they turned on me
The sonic has woken Dorium....
Give it to me straight, how bad are my injuries?’’
The Doctor mutters, pondering how to begin trying to explain, that Dorium, is trapped in a box
Oh, your face. Dorium, enjoys the joke...
We return, to the 22nd of April ,
This is absurd, begins Winston, other worlds, carnivous skulls, talking heads
In another reality, you and I, are friends. And you sense that just as you sense there is something wrong with time.
You mentioned, a woman, begins Winston
The Doctor tells the sometime PM. The Sometime and space holy Roman emperor, that he is coming to that,
Winston asks if the woman was attractive

``Hell in high heels''

Tell me more..
In the 7th Transcept Dorim, is not too upset, about his decapitation. He had a media chip, installed in his head, and the wifi, in the crypt, is excellent. The Alien keeps himself entertained
Asked, about the Silence...Dorium, confirms that they are a religious order, great power, and discretion
The sentinels of history, is how the the Silence, like to think of themselves
They want me dead.. States the Doctor

Your a man with a long and dangerous past, but your future, is more terrifying
The silence, believe the Doctors future, must be averted
You could have told, me this last time. The Doctor points out. Dorium recalls it was a busy day, and that he had got beheaded.
``On the fields of Transalor, at the fall of the eleventh. When no living creature can speak falsely or fail to answer... A question, will be asked, which, must never ever be answered
Silence will fall, interrupts the Doctor
Silence must fall, would be a better translation.''
The Silence have decided, that the The Doctor will never reach transzlor. He must never answer the question.
``The first question...The oldest question in the universe. Hidden, in plain sight''
Would you like to know what it is, asks Dorium,
Are you sure?
Very very sure...
The Skulls stir at Doriums word, and turn towards the Timelord
Than I shall tell,
But on your own head be it
The Doctor puts Dorium, in a box, and then takes, him to the Tardis. Dorium complains, but the Doctor, is running off. Dorium, tells the Doctor, he must realise that he has to die
You know, that....

In London, April 22nd, at 5.02 pm

What was the question? Asks Sir Winston, conqueror of Gaul
Suppose, there was a man, who knew a secret. That secret would destroy the world, if it was shared How would, you protect, against the secret, being told. The Doctor asks Winstons
``If I had to I’d destroy the man''. Churchill answers
Than silence would fall. I never realised, it was my silence, my death. The Doctor muses, on the words, as he continues with story
The Doctor will fall
Why we, here. The Doctor and Winston, have been wandering
This is the senate, room
Why did we leave, your office, you wanted a scroll
Why do you have your revolver
Your dangerous company sooth sayer. The Doctor, sees a pen mark on his arm, the sign that they have been visited by the Silence
Dorium, is still complaining and trying to get the Doctor, to accept, his fate. Dorium, has a headache
Some terrible weight pressing down, on me. Oh, The Doctor, has Doriums, head box upside down
``Why lake Silencio, why Utah?''
Its a still point in time. Makes it easier, to create a fixed point in time
Your death is a fixed point in time.''
The Doctors death, will happen. It cannot be escaped. The Die is cast.
The phone rings, as the Doctor babbles, I have got a time machine, The Doctor boasts....
I could help Rose Tyler, with her homework, I could invent a new colour, join the beatles, go on all of Jacks stag parties. Save the Dodo. Elope with Elizabeth the first

Time has never laid a glove on me, the Doctor boasts.
He has a time, machine, he can put off the inevitable forever. He can have fun.
Hello
A pretty girl, in a white nursing uniform is speaking, she tells the Doctor, that

Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart, passed away,it very peaceful. The Brigadier spoke about the Doctor until the end. If that's any consolation he made us poor an extra brandy...

The Doctor pauses, and takes the blue envelopes out of his pocket.

``Its time’’


The Doctor returns, to the Tesalator. Who is still in the disguise of Father Gideon, and has a Scots accent. Interestingly. Surely you can deliver the messages yourself. No, the Doctor replies, it would involve Crossing his own time stream, he'd best not
Your final journey.

``We'll deliver, your messages, you can depend on us. The Captain of the Tesalator tells the Time lord.
Doctor, whatever you think, we are champions of law and order..as you are

Is the anthing, that we can do for you ?''

We return to the universe, of 17.02/22/4/2011
Why would you do, this asks Sir Winston, of all that you have told me, this is the hardest to believe
Why invite your friends to watch you die.

I had to die, and I had the chance ``The last Centurion'', and ``the Girl who waited''.
Who better, to be at my side, replies the Doctor

if its time to go, remember what your leaving. My friends have always been the best of me. Says the Doctor....It would help, if you didn't keep interrupting before I can answer. The Timelord, scolds, his friend.

The woman? Churchill interrupts again

Hello Sweetie. Alex Kingston shooting off, the Doctors hat in Utah

River song, came twice... Oh, that scans differently :)

Napeloen gave me this bottle, salut. I say gave, he threw at it me...

There is a recap of the events of the impossible astronaut. Rory and Amy arriving. River arriving. The picnic at the lake...Everything was in place

I only had to die!

The Doctor, walks, towards, the lake.

River Song raises the visor

here we are at last

``I can't stop, it. The suit, its too powerful its locked in

Run, I try to fight it but I can't

This is where, I die. This is a fixed point. This must happen. This always happens Don't worry. You won't even remember this.

Look over there,

Its me, how can I be there? Asks a tearful Doctor song

Thats you from the future, serving time, for a murder. You probably don't remember committing.

Why would you make me watch. Demands River
You are forgiven, always and completely forgiven.

Please my love, just run.

Time can be rewritten. pleads River

Don't you dare!

Goodbye river

She shoots.......

Hello Sweetie

What have you done,

I think, I have just drained the power from the suits weapon system.

Fixed points can be rewritten Insists Dr Song no they can't! replies Dr Who

We return to Winston's world

Time is dying its going to be 5.0.2 in the afternoon
For all eternity, it will be 5.02 pm in the afternoon Just like a Needle stuck, on a record. A record sighs the PM/Holy Roman emperor Have you never heard of downloads?
Sir Winston chides, the Doctor a his mentions, of records. The Doctor notes the Irony of a man, who fought in the Boer war, and died before punk. Mentioning downloading music to a PC. (Or an Apple Mac. RIP Steve Jobs)
Sir Winston and the Doctor, break from their chat.
Gunsmoke, I appear to have fired this. The Doctor, is carrying a roman pila. They appear to be defending themselves. The Doctor has the pen marks, we saw in The Impossible Astronaut on his arm.
Silence, is memory proof. The moment, you look away. You forget them.
In small numbers there not too difficult. The Doctors arm, is covered in Ink. The Doctor and Sir Winston look up, and see a roof, full of silence. Like Bats, hanging from the ceiling
Bomb!

Who the Devil are you? Demands Emperor Winston, as the soldiers storm the senate room
Pond, Amelia pond. Amy walks into the room, surrounded by a team of black uniformed soldiers. We can hear Rory’s voice. Barking orders, to keep their eye drives on, and keep the silence in sight
Winston, is wary and draws his sidearm but the Doctor reassures him She’s on our side
No, Amy, No Amy. The Doctor, is dismayed at seeing Amy with an eyepatch. The Timelord is tazered
The Doctor comes, round. Amy apologises for using the stun gun
The Doctor, when he comes round tries to convince Amy, that in another world, in another reality. She is Amelia pond. The little girl who waited for him. The Little girl, who had a crack in the wall, by her bed. She has seen things, that are beyond imagination, and that him, and her are best friends. That despite, this sounds crazy, the fact, that they travel through time, and space, in a blue box. Amy must believe him
The Doctor says this while grasping Amys blue box. Amy nods to the Doctor. The wall, behind her is full of drawings. Daleks. The New red ones, from Victory of the Daleks. The Pirate Amy, from The Black spot. The Vampires from the Vampires from Venice

Amy's second meeting with the Doctor

Amy brings the Doctor, some clothes, they hug. The Doctor is shaven. The Doctor, asks what, is with the eye patch.

Time, has gone wrong. Some of us have noticed. Amy explains.

I died, said the Doctor.

Than, you didn't die states Amy Does it matter asks the older Amelia

Time is not just frozen Time is disintegrating, reality will collapse. Replies the last of the Time Lords

A Captain Williams, comes into inform Ms . Amy you will find your Rory, but you will, The Doctor recognizes him.The Doctor realises The Doctor realizes, that he is aging. Very slowly, but he is aging. Time, is moving but at a miniscule amount. The Doctor realises that he is the episcentre of the explosion. The explosion will continue


Amy asks, the Doctor, whats wrong with him. `` I am still alive''

The Train arrives in Cairo. Which is a Pyramid, painted with a US flag, and Area 52 written on the side.

The Doctor is given an eye patch. Its an eye drive, which allows you to remember the silence.
TheDoctor, is skeptical about the eyedrive. There are over 100 Silence, in the pryamid. No living mind could remember a single one, without the eye patch
The Silence's Human servants wear these eye patches. Madam Kovarian, had one. So did Father Gideon, and the Viking.

The silence are trapped in tanks. The Tanks are filled with water. The water suppresses the electrical impulses that the Silence use. Captain Williams, notices the Silence, stirring as the Time Lord walks past their cell. Captain Williams is not happy about that. He goes to check the seals.

The Doctor asks Amy what Cpt Williams first name is. When Miss pond replies Captain. The Doctor salutes and walks after Rory, to tell him, he should ask his boss out. He should invite her for texting and scones. Capt Williams, observes that the Doctor, is no matchmaker
Attention all personal, please check the seals on the Silence. Rory orders his men over the intercom.

You were right, a tech reports to her superior his prescence in the building, had an effect on time. Progressed the time stream 4 microns.

Anyway, the Doctor, reaches the main chamber of the Pyramid.

``Hi honey I'm home'' Its River Song!

and what sort of time, you call this? Demands the Archaeologist?

River Song is Wearing an eye patch. She has Madam Kovarian tied to a chair

Why a pyramid the question is asked. Its a long story, an event with Cleopatra and John F Kennedy, and Hallogenic lipstick. Cleopatra knew the Doctor apparently. What did she say, asks the Time Lord. Put down the Gun, says River

The flirting. Madam Kovarian cannot stand the Flirting.

Take a child, raise her, in isolation, and introduce her to the Doctor, who else, was I going to fall in love with. Asks River, gloating over her abductor and tormentor

Time is dying

The Doctor, and River are opposite poles of a temporal event. The Doctor is shocked at this, and wants time to be restored. The Doctor accepts that he has to die. River will not kill the man, she loves.

The Doctor grabs rivers. She has her guards pull them off each other. They are for a moment, by lake Silencio, in Utah. Time moves forward 4 seconds, as

THere isn't another way...I didn't say there was sweetie. Replies River to the Doctor

Idle gossip-aracheology. The same things.

River Song, is she the Woman who murders or Marries the Doctor

There is noise coming from elsewhere in the Pyramid. The Doctor asks, about the Silence. How many are trapped inside

None, the Silence are not trapped. They have been waiting for this Doctor, for you. Gloats their Servant Kovarian

As the Doctor and River argue about Time, and Space. The tanks, that the Silence, are kept in begin to crack. Water drips down from the ceiling. The Silence above them, are gaining their liberty.


Your eye drives are based on mine. Cackles Madam Kovarian. The Techie drops dead. The soldiers, begin to drop dead, or fall prostrate. As a security protocol, the silence installed begins to activate. The eye drive will shock its wearer, killing or at least rendering the wearer, in excruciating pain

The soldiers, collapse. As they face the Silence. Kovarian, starts to shout in a desperate plea, to her masters. No you need me, when Kovarian starts to feel a sharp pain, from her eye. Kovarian now understands the terrible truth that the Silence, have activated the security system on her eye patch. She tells, them not to be stupid. To stop, that its me, but the Silence show no merc

The Companions, have a plan. There is something upstairs, they were working on.

The Doctor, and River, and Amy flee upstairs. Captain Williams, makes a last stand to hold off the silence. The receptor room, at the top of the

The eye drive has activated, I am no use, if I cannot remember. Captain Williams, is in agony see his hand shake

The Silence, storm the room

Rory Williams, the man who dies, and dies again, die one last time, and know she will never be back for you

Amy, help me... begs Madam Kovarian. Kovarian is still tied to a chair

I'll never see my daughter grow up begins Amy.

You would never do anything to disapoint your precious Doctor. Kovarian half gloats
You know what else he is
Not here

River song, did not get all from you...

Amy reattaches the loosened eye drive to Madam Kovarians face. Leaving her to face, the agony and than the Silence, and than the Silence

You and me should get a drink sometime, and married. Amy tells Rory, as she helps him up the stairs

A timey wiimey distress beacon

The Doctor, is dying please help.

You embarrass me, replies the Doctor

Just tell him, the sunspots and solar flares. The sky is full of a million voices, offering to help. Do you think, when your time was up you would be alone

You have decided the Universe is better off without you. The Universe does not agree

A fixed point has been altered

I can't let you die, I have to die

I can't let you die, without knowing you are loved, and by no one more than me

But the Universe and Time, will die. Is that more important than every
More than every living thing in the universe

River-Melody Pond, The Doctor asks the Alternate Mr and Mrs, Williams are they proud of their child. Capt Williams does not understand. Amy explains We got married, and had a kid,

Amy uncuff me now. River had cuffed the Doctor earlier to stop, him touching her. In the main chamber of the Cairo Pyramid

Okay, I need a strip of cloth about a foot long. The Doctor, wraps one part in has arm, and the other around Rivers.

I consent, and Gadly give... to what asks Cpt Williams. Nice bit of Character there..
and now the mother of the bride.

The Doctor whispers in Rivers Ear

Wife I have a request. This world is dying and its tearing me apart

There isn't another way

Than you may kiss the bride. I'll make it a good one

The Universe of 5.02 ends. Sir Winston is no longer Emperor. You cannot feed the Petrodacytls at the Park. The War of the Roses, no longer fill column inches

The Doctor dies, at lake Silencio. Amy stands over his dead body.

``You are forgiven, always and completely forgiven'' The Doctor again tells his wife

The World turns, and time passes

``Now prison waits for river'' The Child song we heard at the end, of Closing time, and the continues

Amy in the Garden. Drinking wine

Heard there was a freak meteor shower, a few miles away, so I came prepared

so when are we, asks Amy to her daughter. I just climbed out of the Bzantium, You were so young.

The events of

A weeping Angel, from that episode. Time of Angels

How are you? Asks Dr River, to Amelia Pond. Daughter to her Mother
The Doctors dead...
How are you doing? asks her Daughter

I think, I killed someone. Madam Kovarian, in cold blood
In an aborted time line, in a world that never was... recalls Dr Song

I need to talk to the Doctor, says Amelia. He is dead, and I cannot

If you could talk to him, would it make a difference? asks the Bride of the Time Lord I am going to tell, you what I probably shouldn't. The Archaeologist, puts the Penny in the air

The Doctor is not dead.... Rule 1 the Doctor lies.

The Doctors lies. So do I, I have to....Spoilers
Pretending, I don't know your my mother. Pretending I did not remember the Space suit in Florida
Do you remember our wedding. The Doctor whispered in my ear...begins River


what did he whisper What did he tell you



Rory steps into the Garden...

I'm his mother in law

Father dear, I think mummy might need another drink

In the seveth transcept of the Headless monks

``Who is carrying me, I demand to know. I'm a head. I have rights
I demand my door is opened''

Is it you, it is, isn't it. Dorium, recognizes the Doctor by his gait. Despite the monks habit

How did you do it. How did you escape? Dorium inquires

We are returned to the Doctors meeting with the Tesalator.

Is there nothing else we can do for you? ....

Actually, thinking about it''

Than at Lake Silencio

Look into my eye. We see the Doctor, inside the Tesalator. Waving at River, with his TARDIS ready. A Doctor inside a Doctor

ssh

Time said, I had to be on the beach. ( The Doctor found a loop hole)

They can all forget me, I got to big to noisy. Time to step back into the shadows

Dr Song, in prison all her days. Counters Dorium, Her days. Her Nights are a different matter, between herself and the Doctor

So many secrets observes Dorium. I will help you keep them. Well, its not like he is going anywhere.

``Its all still waiting, the fields of trensalor. The Fall of the eleventh. Dorium tells the Doctor, as the Timelord departs for adventures new

The question that must never been answered...

Hidden in plain sight....

Doctor Who, Doctor Who?''




The Seventh Seal, and The Indiana Jones Franchise, are riffed on. The Doctor skulls has even similar music.

The tribute to the Brig, was well done. Well done Ladies and Gentlemen.

I was not that pleased, with the London. Where everything happened at once. There were lots of Balloons, which is an old AH trope. We even saw, that in the Cybermen two parter. However I think, the idea was two big, and too chaotic to come across on screen. The Doctor, and Louis MacNiece's Churchill interplay, was good. I enjoyed that, just did not think much of the world building.

I think, we dodged some more interesting things.
Why not have Churchill, try to kill the Doctor. That's what I thought we were leading up, to when I saw, him with the pistol. Churchill grasping that the Doctor must die, and ready to pull the trigger.
The Doctor, having to force, River. River, is basically ready to destroy the Universe to save the man, she loves. The Doctor, killed his people, because they were ready to destroy the Universe, to save themselves during the Timewar. River came to close to that.

Moffat, threw in some nods to fandom. The silence, telling Rory Williams. That he is always getting killed. The mystery of River. Is she married. Is she a murderer

I thought the Tesalator was a bit of a cop out. After we had, the red herring of the Flesh Doctor from, the rebel flesh, and the almost people

There were a blitz of references, to other episodes, crossing the whole of the Steven T Davis, and the Moffat era. The Wikipedia entry catches them all

Simon Callow, as Dickens. The Unquiet dead. An episode I did not see for years after it was broadcast and The Beast below, was checked too. Two of the less remembered episodes.The beast below, was not one of my favorites.

Amy is lovely with an eye patch

I grew to like the episode, as I rewatched it. It raises, more questions than it answers.