The real me

Ruairi NYC

I took this picture in 2005. Its a self portrait. I took it on the 17th of March. Just outside the Trump tower. I was watching the St Patricks day parade. I am currently wearing that jacket again. I think, I have retired the hat.

Anyway, I hate this picture. I look pale, and fat. I seem to have a double chin. I was thin, then. Size 30 waist, and I smoked. My eyebrows, look out of place. There too dark. I am not even happy with my nose. I think I look like Quentin crisp

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quentin_Crisp

Which wasn’t the look I was going for.

So, the image has stayed locked in my files. Of my computer. As I don’t  want the world to see it.

As you know, I have been supervising, this week. Today, I wondered. (He still second guesses himself, all the time) How I was coming across. I wonder if I was being too strict, too blunt. I worry that I am pushing around one kid too much. I know I am impatient. I am with everything. (except my new pc-its that quick. 4GB of RAM )

So I wonder, what they are really seeing. Which face, am I showing.

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